a long walk on the shore

Walking along the shore, listening to the unending and sometimes gentle pounding of the surf at low tide, breathing the constantly refreshed sea air has been a refuge for me for many years. The long thoughts that seem to be natural to the long views are comforting and help to put the highs and lows of my life in perspective. We are dealing with the second major loss in my family in one month. I am somewhat peripheral to it….physical distance and the impact of time. A long and solitary walk, nothing man-made in the view and time to absorb the chill of the air is much like my internal processing of loss and grief. I gained both awareness and comfort. But, the long walk must continue.

a neighbor with a black mask

Nature has so many aspects here in the center of San Francisco. I have been a minor bird watcher for many years and thought I knew most of the permanent residents and many of the transients. Yet, walking in the park near my home, I saw an amazing red bird with a black mask that I had never seen before. I spent a whole lot of time trying to identify it. Finally, got it…only to discover that hooded orioles are common in palm trees in our area….and the next street and the park are lined with palms...in fact, famous for them. I have lived in this area since the 60’s and had never paused to identify this beautiful little permanent resident.

The photo is not very good, taken with the lens zoomed way out and it was dusk.

the ordinary

A long walk yesterday through the City with various appointments and a little shopping seemed to be pretty much the ordinary. A brief and blessed little downpour made it very much like Spring, though. I passed a gardener’s truck with some plants on their way to a new home and saw for the first time since my childhood a beautiful type of woodbine--the sort without flowers. Then, a bit of cheerful noise from a playground and a nursery school’s children were running through the wet grass, frolicking with a dog who seemed to be part of their entourage. And, finally, I was stopped by a lovely little front garden with blooming iris. I did not have my camera, so I am substituting this beautiful Iris that I saw earlier this month at the SF Botanical Garden. Sometimes it is enough to just get out into your world!

changeless

The passiflora incarnata was seen by missionaries in the New World as a symbol of the passion of Christ and as a positive omen for their missionary work. This photo was taken in the San Francisco Botanical Garden last week.

Holy Week brings the transitions and changes in life to an astonishing focus. The passion of Christ, even as a myth or story, reminds us that the daily cares, losses, joys are for a short time. This too shall pass. One of the prayers in the Episcopal daily office asks that “we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life” find comfort in knowing that ultimately there is “changlessness”. This theme is central to many of the major religious traditions…in fact, seems as much Buddhist as Episcopalian!

It is thrilling to see each bud, each flowering tree showing newness, but still much like I remember from years past when observing the same plants in my garden. Seems like a window into “changelessness”. May both the Easter season and the transition from winter bring comfort and even joy in rebirth.

a rejected gift

The message on the wall is partially obscured by the spring bloom.

A somewhat delicate appearing and hesitant young man sat next to me yesterday on a MUNI bus. He had objects in his left hand. He took one in the very thin fingers of his right hand and said something I could not hear. He held a brilliant blue bead and repeated so very softly, “bead”.

Stupidly, I said no. I did not ask him about them or even acknowledge that he was offering me a gift. When a seat opened near the front of the bus, he moved there. Silently talking to himself and playing with the beads in his hand.

He looked sad. I had failed to respond to a gift. I was instantly sad and remain sad about it today. Why I did not respond to another human's gesture is beyond comprehension. I did not even offer curiosity or a thank you. A painful experience, perhaps, for both of us.

a small window to the past

Why do songs pop out of memory? Out of nowhere, it would seem, came the lilting tune from The Student Prince....Golden Days. I have not seen the show in decades. I cannot remember the last time I heard Mario Lanza singing it from the film....I am not sure I ever saw it. Yet, reading in the morning sunlight on this quiet Sunday....there it was. Not a favorite, not ever sung by me and yet “golden days in the sunshine of our happy youth/golden days, full of gaiety and full of truth” appeared in my silent singing memory. I think contemplating the distinction of “full of gaiety and full of truth” will be a worthwhile effort today. Was that true of youth or is it accessible in old age?

the common air

This is the grass that grows wherever the land is and the water is,

This the common air that bathes the globe.

1891 edition on the Whitman Archive

I have been so fortunate to have “two” Walt Whitman courses online running at the same time ─ deeply looking at Leaves of Grass line by line. My understanding, appreciation and, yes, love of Whitman has grown immensely. The quote is just a couple of lines that seem to speak directly to me.

The Whitman courses are from Harvard through EdX and the University of Iowa in their Open Courses project. I also love the Modern & Contemporary Poetry course from the University of Pennsylvania---which I have taken two years running and plan to enroll again in the fall. Check out these amazing, and free, offers if you are interested in expanding your knowledge of poetry (or almost any other thing you can think of!)

Note: I used this photo in February, 2013. It is just one of my favorites and seems appropriate to use again for Walt's quote.