Thursday, July 4, 2013

blue light of awareness



Late in the evening as I was walking home, I saw the grizzled old man who frequently sleeps in doorways and on bus benches on Mission Street. I have commented on him in an earlier blog. I have observed him from the bus window. I sometimes walk past him when he seems to be passed out. I have watched him as he incoherently discourses with the passing traffic. All of these times, I have seen him. Last night, he looked up at me as I passed and I realized that he recognized me, too. I had never once thought about him observing me. This was a shattering awareness of my role as “unseen” observer. A psychic way of separation and self-protection that feels very, very uncomfortable.  

7 comments:

  1. yes, awareness would be blue, wouldn't it, - and sharp, like this one..

    good catch!

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    1. I hope some awareness comes in yellow or something less piercing!

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  2. What is this photo, Duff? We think we're invisible in some instances, but often we're kidding ourselves.

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    1. The photo is simply light flashing of a dvd that I had on my desk to put in the computer. I was so unhinged by the fact that I never even considered it. Thought he was in his own world and yet, I was also in his.

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    2. Ahhh, yes, now I can see the literal of the photo - it was invisible to me before...

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  3. I love this as representation of awareness - I second Joan on this one. And a wonderful photo in its own right. A powerful anecdote.

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    1. Thanks, Scott. He reminds me of some of your old comrades at the community garden when you lived south of Market. I was always so impressed how you and your wonderful dogs made friends with the street people! A good memory!

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